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Art is always beautiful, because art conveys smart and deep critics to our society. With a symbolic language, art understands voice of the pain. Art embrace our pain in society and reflect that in the beauty of creations. For instance, yesterday I watched theater in Taman Ismail Marzuki. This theater presented by Teater Koma, my favorite theater group in Indonesia. They showed appaling reality of life that felt by the poor people in Jakarta. 

They decorated the stage with perfect and delicate decorations. They succeed to make the stage similar with a slump area. They contrasted the slum area (a dirty river, several bad houses under the bridge) with the high class area. Actualy, it is near with the factual condition. 

Although it was a fabulous story, it described our reality. Purity of heart possessed by the rich and the poor. On the other hand, we found many injustice and foolish done by both of them. Juroh and Jian are example of the sincere people. One mandor is also described having a good heart. Some turbulences must be appear in their mind and heart. Why good people be the victim of injustice. Why the wicked judge is accepted and acknowledge? They only had a simple dream. They just wanted to live happily with their small amount of money. Nevertheless, why the consecutive problems appear without ending?  

My heart is torn.

The tears seeps into my skins

My head is filled by questions

about God

about live

about victim

about His plan

about injustice

about depression

YIR

Why bad people exist in this world?

Maybe you have already hear this question, "Why bad things happened to good people?" Many theories explain some answers. I do not intend to talk about that in this passage. Maybe this writing just like sparks in my mind. Come from my depression when I see the injustice in life. I feel exhausted because too much violence, harm and tricky politics in this world. Thus, my question is why bad people exist in this world? Why God does not demolish them?

You may say that I do not have love because thinking something bad to them. Nevertheless, the psalms in the Bible also said and felt the same things like me. I just try to be honest to myself and my God. I am sad and really angry. Sometimes, I hesitate God's love and mercy. Is divine intervention really exist?

I am not the strongest person in this world. Although I work as a pastor, I struggle with so many spiritual questions. My heart is broken into million pieces every time I hear some words: forgiveness, trust to His time, etc. I can not stand to finish my writing now. In a deep sorrow and sadness, I just want to feel God's eternal peace.

Hold me tight oh Lord,
although I still can not understand this process.
Hold me tight oh Lord,
although I still can not accept this condition.
Hold me tight oh Lord,
although I still do not know Your will.
Hold me tight oh Lord,
although I am trapped in my anger and disappointed
Hold me tight
Hold me tight